


That Time When

by ikeracity



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Night-time musings, Post-Divorce, Regrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-21
Updated: 2012-08-21
Packaged: 2017-11-12 14:52:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/492380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikeracity/pseuds/ikeracity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erik thinks of Charles sometimes.</p>
<p>(That's a lie, because he thinks of Charles all the time and it is only on the loneliest nights that he pulls the helmet off and lets himself remember exactly what they once were, reaching blindly for Charles's voice and hoping secretly that one day he might find it again.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Time When

**Author's Note:**

> An old snippet. :)

He sits in bed at night and takes off the helmet. Tonight, they’ve parted ways, Emma and Azazel to spy on the nearby CIA base, Riptide to patrol the grounds of headquarters to watch for intruders, and Mystique to her own room across the hall. Erik sits alone in the darkness, hating how his bed is a double, hating how empty the room seems. 

_Charles, are you there?_ he thinks, missing how easily Charles used to pluck thoughts from his mind, even when he wasn’t supposed to. Except he’d figured out along the way that Erik’s protests were only half-hearted because he actually liked the way Charles would constantly dip into his mind, liked how it felt as if he mattered enough for Charles to check up on him every few minutes, as if to reassure himself Erik was still there. 

He misses that, too. The solidarity. The belonging. No one _belongs_ in the Brotherhood, not like Erik and Raven had in Westchester with Charles and Hank and the others. Here, he is Magneto, and Raven is Mystique, and there is cold, impersonal professionalism. Just the way he needs it for this venture to work, but just the way he wishes it didn’t have to be. He experienced warmth and friendship and brief happiness at Charles’s mansion, and he can’t ever forget it. He wishes he could. 

With Emma gone, he lets his mind go free. The helmet lies out of reach on the armchair across the room. He touches the left side of the bed and lets himself remember the way Charles’s body would curl up like a cat right where his hand is, head buried into the pillow, legs tucked up, hair mussed and imperfect. He would go to bed lying neatly, but in the morning, he’d be a sprawl of limbs, and Erik loved that. That was one of the things he loved most, and he doesn’t know why, he just did. 

He slides under the covers on the right side of the bed and stretches out a hand to his left. He pretends he can feel Charles’s warmth, closes his eyes and imagines the flash of a smile in the darkness. _I wish this would last forever,_ Charles had said once, and Erik had smiled and agreed and believed. 

Now, tonight, he lies alone in a bed that’s too big for him and too empty, and he tosses the helmet away and thinks, _I miss you._

There is no one there to catch the thought, and it dwindles away and disappears forever into the night. 

In the morning, he is Magneto again with the helmet fit snugly over his head and when Mystique asks quietly, “Do you ever think about him?” he looks away and lies.


End file.
